Half man, Half Tiger All Wally!

December 15, 2006

We are well aware that Tiger can bread with Lions to create Ligers, however Tigers cannot bread with humans to create Higers, that would just be silly. However San Diego Computer Programmer Dennis Smith otherwise known as “Cat-man” is a very silly man he has already spend over £100,000 getting Tiger-style tattoo’s all over his body and now wants to get a fur graft which is expected to be an another £100,000. Mr Smith is not an amazing human tiger hybrid he is just a big big wally, in fact he is this weeks wally of the Week!

“Raaaaah I’m a Wally!”

Heres a link to last weeks wally.

Pete Graham xXx


WWE Superstarts = Intellectual Heavy-weights!

December 15, 2006

I’m been claiming for years that intelligence and skill of WWE superstars is severely underrated. I now have proof, many many Wrestlers use Portmanteau’s as their finishing moves here are a few:

  • Perfectplex = Perfect + Suplex used by Mr Perfect
  • AngleLock = Angle + Anklelock used by Kurt Angle
  • Batistabomb = Bastita + Powerbomb used by Batista
  • Vadersault = Vader + Moonsault used by Vader

The most popular form of Wrestling Portmanteau seems to append your name to the word ‘bomb’ i.e. Petebomb. My favourite is probably the Ligerbomb which is performed by a Japanese Wrestler named Jushin Liger. Pictured below (funniest looking Liger I’ve ever seen).

A special Mention should also go to Michael Quackendriver the inventor or the Quackendriver I, II and III, what a trilogy!

The Portanteau creativity of Pro-wrestlers is not just limited to finishing moves, Stone Cold Steve Austin used to famously drink cans of “Steve-weiser” (Steve + Budweiser) after he won a match.

That all for today, catch you later Peteamaniac’s!

Pete Graham xXx

Exploding Cokes!

December 14, 2006

I know I’ve already emailed quite a few people about this already but thought I post it here for readers that haven’t seen it yet. It appears that if you put Mentos into Diet-coke it causes an almighty Explosion. I believe Mentos are some type of American mint, my good friend Julian E Prestoon Esquire informs me that it works with other more British mints.

Here’s the first experiment over at Google Video, the second experiment is also worth watching, they explode hundred’s of bottles of diet coke in a domino effect! For people who don’t know what Google Video is; it’s like Youtube but not as good. For people who don’t know what Youtube is; its like Telly but on your computer and not as good.

Being a man of science I plan to conduct some of my own Coke and Mint explosion experiments over the festive season. I’m predicting the Mint in a Coke trick could be for the Naughties what the Salt in a pint of beer gag was for the Nineties.

  • FACT: The technical term for putting Salt in someones pint so it explodes is aSALTing someone.
  • FACT: In some states in American aSALTing someone is a crime punishable by the death sentence
  • FACT: Some Americans tried to ban the Harry Potter books, this is because they are idiots
  • FACT: Americans couldn’t ban Harry Potter because Harry Potter is magic!

Pictured above Harry Potter, he didn’t really have anything to do with Diet Coke, Mentos or this Article.
Pete Graham xXx

Quarter-life Crisis

December 14, 2006

As an active member of the blogosphere I often like to read and contribute to other peoples blogs. Today I was learning how to improve my already amazing levels of productivity by reading 11 Tips for Time Management on Web Worker Daily. A link to a blog called Brazen Careerist caught my eye, being an uber young-professional I thought this sounded right up my street. Whilst reading this blog I came across a new concept: the Quarter-life crisis. To be honest it doesn’t sound half as fun a mid-life crisis, for one it doesn’t involve buying motorbikes and sports-cars or running off with your secretary. Apparently the Quarter-life crisis is becoming increasingly common there’s a good explanation of exactly what it is Wikipaedia.

FACT: The average age for mid-life crisis is 46. Who’s up for buying Harleys and forming a Biker Gang with me 2029?

Pete Graham xXx

I’m Portmanteau Mad Me!

December 13, 2006

Following the success of my amazing anagram article I’ve decided to post another article demonstrating the fun that can be had with words of the English Language. Today we shall be covering Portmanteaus.

A Portmanteau is a word that is created by combining two existing words. Popular examples include:

  • Insania – Combination of Insane and Mania: popularised by mid 90s pop-sensation Peter Andre
  • Enginuity – Combination of Engine and Ingenuity: It’s the name of the Design museum in Ironbridge
  • Feminazis – Combination of Feminist and Nazi: Famous Femiazis include Germaine Greer and uuumm… I couldn’t actually find any others I’d heard of (even using Google!)

Portmanteaus can also be used to give people great nicknames here are a few:

  • Phevans – Combination of Phil and Evans: Loud, fat-faced wally from Tamworth
  • Bevans – Combination of Ben and Evans: Grumpy para character from Wenners
  • Degans – Combination of Dog and Evans: The Evans Family Pet
  • Nence – Combination of Ell and Nonce: Nickname given to Elliott Russell in the Early Naughties

Portmanteaus are very common in the fascinating world of Hybrid animals, here are some of my favourites:

  • Zorse – Combination of Zebra and a horse
  • Zonkey– Combination of a Zebra and a Donkey
  • Cama – Combination of a Camel and a Lama
  • Liger – You should know what this one is by now
  • Wolphin – If you don’t know this one you need to read the blog more often

Try making your own up and using them in conversation to confuse people. Post your best ones as comments, there will be an ace prize!

Pete Graham xXx

Shocking Becks Vier Discovery

December 13, 2006

After weeks of intensive research my highly dedicated team of scientist have managed to reverse engineer Becks Vier to discover its four ingredients. Brace yourselves the ingredients are:

  • Piss
  • Shit
  • Blood
  • Cum

Below if a picture of my face on receiving this starling news.

Now that I know the secret of the ingredients I plan to start brewing my own version of the larger over Christmas, it shall be named Becks Pierre.

Pete Graham xXx

Avocado update

December 12, 2006

I’m sure my giant avocado was emitting an eerie green alien luminance last night, very disturbing. Pretty sure its getting bigger too. I’ve discovered that there is a annual Avocado-Fest in California, where a competition is held to find the worlds biggest avocado. I plan to attend Avocado-Fest 2008 and claim the top prize.

Other avocado related news, a woman in America is suing Food Giants Kraft for selling Guacamole which only has 2% Avocado in its ingredients. Kraft is responding by renaming the product “Avocado flavoured”. Here’s the full story. This reminds me of the Americans that sued McDonalds for making them fat, ridiculous! Its like someone trying to sue me for stopping them working because they were reading my blog (ahem, TCAT Maths department/Enthusiasts).

Pete Graham xXx

ps. Anyone planning to sue me don’t bother, I have the same lawyer as OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson.

All I want for Christmas is..

December 12, 2006

I know lots of my loyal readers are very keen to buy me a Christmas present or two, so here is my list of what I want from Santa this year:

  1. Limited edition single of the ultra-rare Chico and Ricky Martin Duet
  2. Life sized cut-outs of all of Girls aloud except the ginger-one
  3. A giants dice: preferably monochrome, 6-sized, cubic with rounded edges
  4. Davey Havok style clip-on Emo-swoop
  5. Little Chris Calendar 2007
  6. Arnold Schwarzeneggers Encyclopaedia of Modern Bodybuilding
  7. A LCD speedometer, Corolla compatible
  8. Snorkel and Flippers set
  9. Some skin-tight white drain-pipe jeans like Johnny Borrell Wears
  10. My weight in Bock Artois

Pictured above Davey Havok, best swoop in the world?

Pete Graham xXx

When Giant Avocado’s Attack!

December 11, 2006

I was in the local Tesco’s this afternoon doing my weekly shop and stocking up on Vier’s, when something in the fruit and vegetables aisle caught my eye. For some reason the Tesco’s of Guildford had decided to stock their shelves with the biggest Avocado in the world. The beast of a fruit is pictured below.

FACT: The Avocado like the tomato is technically a Fruit not a vegetable.

I have decided that this Avocado is so big that could have only been produced using Alien Genetic Engineering technologies, in fact I suspect the giant Avocado may even been some form of Alien egg.

Lets analyse the evidence:

  1. Its green; 58% aliens are green
  2. The Checkout girl couldn’t find it on her till so I got it for free (almost like someone or something had planted it in the supermarket for me to find)
  3. Its huge!

I have banned anyone from sitting on the Avocado/Alien-Egg in case that causes it to hatch. I shall be keeping a close eye on it monitoring for any paranormal activities.

Pete Graham xXx

I love Bock and Roll

December 11, 2006

I managed to get my hands on some pints of Bock on Tap at the Selkirk in Tooting on Friday night. Bock Artois is a 6.2% super-premium larger which completes the Atrois Tri-force of Peeterman Artois and Classic Stella. Bock Artois is a drink shrouded in mystery and urban myth so I would like to confirm a few facts about it.

FACT: Bock is a dark larger somewhat similar in flavour to Duvell
FACT: Drinking Bock is guaranteed to send you turbo! And should only be attempted under the supervision of a responsible adult

Below is a festive photo of me wearing a cardigan with a pint of Bock.

FACT: Chicks dig cardigans

Pete xXx