Archive for the ‘Banter’ Category

Change of Address

January 8, 2007

I am moving this blog to Blog.PeteGraham.co.uk, these are the reasons I’m doing this:

  • It will enable me to customise and personalise the blog
  • One of my new years resolutions was to do something with petegrham.co.uk
  • Some readers were getting blocked trying to read wordpress.com blogs at work

Let me know how you find the service on the new address, it was a little slow last night so I may need to change my hosting providers if this happens again.

I will be customising the blog over the next few weeks and adding exciting stuff in general to petegraham.co.uk. At the moment the blog is the same as this one as I felt it was best to get it up and running rather than sitting on it for ages.

Pete Graham xXx

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Movieamania

January 5, 2007

Rocky Balboa the 6th Rocky film will be having its UK release on January 19th. I am planning on buying tickets to see it on its release date somewhere in central London. Let me know if you want to come along, there will be a compulsory dress-code this is it:

  • boxing shorts (boxer shorts or short-shorts are acceptable alternatives)
  • boxing gloves (this one is non-negotiable, well I might let people get away with those big hulks hands because they’re funny)
  • boxing boots, high-top trainers are acceptable as Rocky trains with Converse all-stars on in the early films. Also high-top trainers are generally 80s-tastic
  • a robe/dressing gown is also desirable but optional
  • for extra points you may want to wear a super small mans crop-top as sported by rocky and Apollo Creed in Rocky 3

As always I am promoting creativeness so you can ignore the above dress-code if you would like to come as a character from any of the rocky films (Thunderlips, Clubber lang, Tommy Gun, Uncle Paulie’s Robot, Geeky Adrian from the first Rocky, etc)

There will be a prize for the best outfit, if you can’t make it to London then sent me a picture of your getup before 19th January.

I got the Police Academy DVD box-set for Christmas which I’m very much looking forward to watching. Initially I was going to watch all seven films in one sittings but I think that might be too much hilarity for even me. What I have decided to do is first watch the films in their entirety for pure enjoyment. I then plan to watch them again taking notes which I will use to relaunch my police academy website of the late nineties.


My friend Kenny Lee tells me there is an FBI agent called “Mahone” in Prison Break. Surely this can’t be a coincidence.

  • FACT: In the late 90s my police academy website was the most popular police academy website on the Internet
  • FACT: In the late 90s my police academy website was the only police academy website on the Internet.

To finish off 2007 is looking to be a very exciting year for films here are a few that I’m particularly looking forward to in no particular order:

  • Transformers
  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  • Spiderman 3
  • Die Hard 4
  • Rambo 4
  • The Simpsons Film
  • His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass

Pete Graham xXx

Peteamania banned by Telford College!

January 4, 2007

This blog has been banned by my former employers Telford College of Arts and Technology and can no longer be accessed within the college. If you are a member of staff at the College then request that the block is lifted, it is college policy that any site that a Teacher decides has educational merit must be unblocked. You only need read a few of posts on my Blog, to realise what an amazing educational resource this is to the youth of today.

On the subject of TCAT I would like to offer my congratulations to TCAT’s bearded principle Douglas Boynton for his recently awarded OBE. Doug was awarded his OBE by the Queen (yes the real Queen of England) last week.

Pete Graham xXx

On the Internet no-one knows you’re a dog

January 4, 2007

My mother and poo enthusiast Kit Graham sent me an email this lunchtime drawing to my attention to a new craze sweeping America, Dog poo art!


While we’re on the subject of dogs one website that’s definite worth checking out is Dog Judo, it’s an animated comic strip which features two dogs with a keen interest in Judo, Power Date 1 is probably my favourite but all the video’s are worth checking out.

As many of you probably already know I am a very keen follower of canine fashion, I think the Judo outfit is a good look for this season but my favourite piece of dog clothing is still the binary-bone humans are stupid t-shirt available on ThinkGeek.com.

As I know what big fans you all are of my lists here our my top 8 dog films of all time.

  1. look who’s talking now
  2. turner and hooch
  3. k-9
  4. beethoven
  5. homeward bound
  6. scooby doo
  7. lady and the tramp
  8. 1001 Dalmations

Note: Scooby Doo is CGI so only comes in at #6. Look who’s talking now has John Travolta in it so gets to be #1.

Pete Graham xXx

New Years Resolutions Part 1

January 3, 2007

Happy new year Peteamaniac’s, I hope you all had a lovely break over the festive season and got all the presents you were hoping for. More observant readers will have noticed that I haven’t posted much recently, this is because I’ve been on holiday and thought it would be nice to have a little break. I went back to work today and will be frequently posting again.

I can never quite decide how much I like/approve of New Years Resolutions. Being a big fan of self-improvement I think it’s great when anyone attempts to better themselves, however I feel New Years Resolutions are often undervalued as people rarely stick to them.

Anyway here are mine for this year:

  • Start teaching an evening class at one of the Guildford colleges or the University of Surrey
  • Actually do something with petegraham.co.uk
  • Buy some new Glasses, this one may seem a little odd but I’ve had the same pair of glasses since 2002 and the prescription definitely needs updating
  • Do more freelance web-development work

I will be posting some health and fitness related resolutions/aims later this week. Also I will be reviewing how I have got on with my resolutions throughout the year.

Other exciting news Phuser, the Website my company has been developing should be launching its Beta version by the end of January. Sign-up will initially be by Invite only so let me know if you want to trial the site. At a meeting this morning we decided that Bluefire Systems Staff will be running personalised phuser blogs, yes I will be being paid to blog. Ace!

Pete Graham xXx

Broadbandamania

December 29, 2006

Ok not posted recently as have been busy partying and using the Internet was frustratingly slow using dial-up. The chumps at oneTel have finally activated the broadband at my parents house, so expect a proper blog later today.

Hope you all have had a lovely Christmas.

Pete Graham xXx

OneTel – Incredible Incompetence

December 21, 2006

This post is a follow up to Why you shouldn’t get broadband with oneTel which I wrote earlier this week.

I was contacted back by oneTel today who have taken a whole 48 hours to come to the conclusion that yes they haven’t activated broadband at my parents house like they were meant to. They were supposed to be taking 48 hours to investigate why it hadn’t been activated weeks ago, however when I asked what the problem was all they would tell me was that there was a “technical difficulty”. When I asked what the “technical difficulty” was they stuck me on hold. When released from hold they informed me that they had checked and the difficulty they had encountered was most definitely technical in nature, and that I’d be delighted to hear that my broadband would be active by the 29th of December. I don’t think I was quite as delighted as they expected.

After explaining to the call-centre chump exactly how bad I felt the customer service I had received was he offered me the hefty compensation sum of £11.20. I informed him that this was unacceptable and that I was contemplating leaving oneTel, at this point I was put on hold.. again. Now it seems that when you threaten to leave oneTel you get forwarded from a normal customer services advisor (based in Indian) to a “senior” customer services advisor based in the UK. The senior advisor offered me a deal where my phone/broadband bundle will cost £16.99 per month instead of £24.99. Not a bad deal but quite sneaky as it requires me to keep my account with oneTel to actually get a good amount of compensation/saving. The customer services advisor guaranteed me that this deal would last “forever”, I have asked for it in writing so I can find out exactly how long oneTel consider forever to be.

For anyone interested I have discovered that the oneTel hold-song is Something in the Air written by Thunderclap Newman. Lyrics can be found here.

Pete Graham xXx

Ironbridge Update

December 21, 2006

After almost 6 months away from the Ironbridge area and whats changed, well not a huge deal (not that thats a bad thing). The big news on the Ironbridge front is Central Cafe which used to be a greasy spoon is now a Pizza and Kebab shop. I have yet to sample the culinary delights of the new Central Cafe since it shuts at 11pm due to some strange Ironbridge local by-law. However I have promised my good friend Elliott Russell that as a special Christmas treat I will take him there and buy him any Pizza and any can of sprite he desires!

Rolf Leavesly the Mayor of Ironbridge is famous for going “all-out” for Christmas. Once again he has bettered his efforts of the previous Christmas this year he’s gone “all-out” to Australia! However before he left he put a ransom on the Maylord’s head. A reward of the Maylords weight in Gold will be given to the first person to catch the man-beast dead or alive. This all started when the Maylord made derogatory remarks about the Bridge/Town earlier this month. The Maylord has been mysteriously missing since he had the “day from hell” last Friday.

Not much seems to have changed in the Telford area, Telford Town Centre is still a chav-infested shit-hole redeemed only by the spectacular Telford Time Machine attraction. Also the largest Tesco in the World has been built in Wellington. The shop is truly colossal, it is closer in size to a small city rather than a large supermarket. I think it may even be bigger than the giant Argos you pass on the way to Nottingham.

Pete Graham xXx

Why you shouldn’t get broadband with oneTel

December 19, 2006

On November 21st I called up oneTel to request they transfer my broadband connection from my house in Ironbridge to my parents house, at the time I was informed that this would take up to 21 days. Today is 19th December almost a whole month later and the broadband has not been transferred here is a list of reasons why oneTel are shit and you shouldn’t buy broadband from them:

  • They sent me an email on the 16th December (3 days ago) claiming the broadband had been successfully switched over
  • When I rung them this morning they claimed to have no record of a request to transfer the broadband ever having been made
  • Their “TalkTalk/Onetel Technical Advisor” number 0870 818 8179 doesn’t work
  • Their “Internet Technical Support” number 0845 818 0096 doesn’t work
  • Their “Customer Support” number 0845 818 0505 seems to be permenantly engaged
  • The only number which seems to work is 0845 818 8000 and if you use that you guaranteed to be forwarded through at least 3 departments
  • I have now been informed that I have to wait 48 hours while they “look into” why the broadband hasn’t been transferred
  • They appear to be utterly unable to handle the concept that someone might want to move house
  • If you are joining oneTel you get forwarded to a UK based call-centre, once they’ve “trapped you” as a customer you get forwarded to India
  • They use some god-awful hold music I think its Katie Melua but I could be wrong
  • They use the same song on repeat for their hold music

The really disappointing thing is once you’ve got Broadband set-up with them they offer a pretty good service but its such a pain getting it set-up its really not worth it.

Pete Graham xXx

Back in the Bridge

December 18, 2006

So I’m very happy to be back in Ironbridge for Christmas however I’m not very happy with oneTel. I requested that they transferred my broadband from my house in Ironbridge (which is now being rented out) to my parents house. I also requested that they send me a new installation CD as the one they originally sent was knackered. They’ve not sent me the CD so I am sitting here writing this using dial-up Internet like a man from the past.

I’ve managed to find the drivers online for my broadband modem but its taking absolutely forever to download them on dial-up. When the drivers finally download I’ll be able to see if they actually have swapped the broadband over.

I’ll write a proper blog later if I manage to get the broadband hooked up. I have some great pictures from the Bavarian Beerhouse on Saturday night that need to go up.

Pete Graham xXx