When Giant Avocado’s Attack!

I was in the local Tesco’s this afternoon doing my weekly shop and stocking up on Vier’s, when something in the fruit and vegetables aisle caught my eye. For some reason the Tesco’s of Guildford had decided to stock their shelves with the biggest Avocado in the world. The beast of a fruit is pictured below.

FACT: The Avocado like the tomato is technically a Fruit not a vegetable.

I have decided that this Avocado is so big that could have only been produced using Alien Genetic Engineering technologies, in fact I suspect the giant Avocado may even been some form of Alien egg.

Lets analyse the evidence:

  1. Its green; 58% aliens are green
  2. The Checkout girl couldn’t find it on her till so I got it for free (almost like someone or something had planted it in the supermarket for me to find)
  3. Its huge!

I have banned anyone from sitting on the Avocado/Alien-Egg in case that causes it to hatch. I shall be keeping a close eye on it monitoring for any paranormal activities.

Pete Graham xXx

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10 Responses to “When Giant Avocado’s Attack!”

  1. Phevans Says:

    1) Lovin the metrosexual ear stud

    2) Avocados shouldn’t have an apostrophe 😉

    3) Nerd alert over

  2. charlie Says:

    I see you have taken my advice about not having your first two fingers touching.

    I wish I had something that was twelve inches long that I could get out in public for others to admire.

  3. Aunty Sue Says:

    boy, ya dono ya pollacks from ya avacados!! Tanty Sue

  4. petegraham Says:

    Sue: you are talking “pollacks” it had a sticker on it that said “Super-sized Avocado”.

    I’m not sure what Charlie is on about with this whole fingers touching thing, I find it all a bit disturbing.

    Phevans: Occasionally I spell words wrong on purpose, as you get high on the Google rankings when people search for the incorrectly spelt phrase. This is really why I do it, it not that I’m rubbish at spelling or anything like that..

  5. Aunthe spouse of an avoado lover Says:

    please find attached a POLLOCK
    http://www.tropicalfruitnursery.com/avocado-viewer/pages/Pollock.htm
    SORRY COULDN’T PASTE THE POLLOCK BUT HAVE INSERTED A LINK

  6. Tommy o The one man show Says:

    rice and peas aunty sue, what the donald duck is a pollock, I though i was a food conersur(spelt that wrong to get higher on listing, my dyslexia sticker has been stuck on my computer though just in case) but I have never heard of such a fruit. However I remember when I last met you you said you bet I had a lovely pair of pollocks in my pockets, Im sorrry for what happened after that I can see now I horribly misunderstood the situation. ride the punani .

    lets try bock, magners and a blackcurrent liquor on xmas eve to make snake bock blak on the attack,

  7. petegraham Says:

    Tom your recipe for “Snake Bock and Blak on the attack” is amazing, you should patent it quickly before anyone nicks it.

  8. Avocado update « Peteamania Says:

    […] I’m sure my giant avocado was emitting an eerie green alien luminance last night, very disturbing. Pretty sure its getting bigger too. I’ve discovered that there is a annual Avocado-Fest in California, where a competition is held to find the worlds biggest avocado. I plan to attend Avocado-Fest 2008 and claim the top prize. […]

  9. Phevans Says:

    If we don’t drink snake bock black on the attack on Christmas Eve I’m leaving the pub

  10. Lach Says:

    Use the toothpick to suspend the seed in water until the giant roots. Could be a Daly Avocado. Grow your own. I got one from a well-known grower and hope to use it for propagating. Fun hammy photo.

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