Death to Bureaucracy!

Since I was ill today I thought I’d go to the Doctor’s, I went down there early afternoon to register. Now I realised I’d need some ID so I took with me my drivers licence and a man-bag full off utility bills and the contract for the room I rent, probably enough ID to commit Identity theft if you got hold of it, certainly enough to register for your local Doctors, you’d think.

On getting to the doctors surgery and expressing my wish to register, the surly receptionist informed me that I’d need a utility bill and my passport, the rest of the conversation went like this:

Pete: I’m sorry I don’t have my passport in Guildford could you accept some alternative ID such as a driver’s licence?

Moody Receptionist: No a drivers licence wont do you HAVE to have a passport.

Pete: well I’ve got a man-bag full of alternative forms of ID such as utility bills could accept any of these as ID?

Moody Receptionist: ohhhhh yes you’ll need utility bill…
But you’ll also need a passport.. or birth certificate.

Pete: well I wont be able to get my hands on either of those for a few days could I book an appointment with the doctor

Moody Receptionist: Oh yes you can book a doctors appointment..
But you’ll need register before you can book one.

Pete: But you just said I can’t register without a passport!

Moody Receptionist: Yes I know, look it says on my sign (at this point receptionist smugly taps her skankly laminated sign) I couldn’t possibly register you without seeing a passport, it’s the Rules.

Pete: But I’m ill, arrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

At this point I gave up and went into town as I needed to collect my new credit-card from the bank. Interestingly I had more than enough ID to get my new credit and potentially spend thousands of pounds in my name!

Many thanks to all the people who have wished me a speedy recovery. I am feeling much better this evening (despite the lack of medical attention I was given earlier) and am planning of returning to work tomorrow if I get a good nights sleep.

Pete xXx

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4 Responses to “Death to Bureaucracy!”

  1. Mother graham Says:

    Sending you your adoption papers as we never were given your birt certificate when you were left in alittle basket on our doorstep. Neverthless you have given us great joy.

  2. Kyle Nene Says:

    you cannot can achieve any higher status than mocking from your mother on the internet. congratulations Pete Graham!

  3. gutssy Says:

    Passport on the way to Guildford by recorded mail as we speak

  4. Barley Choice Says:

    Fessage mor Greter Paham

    Thi ink yat thou sould shtrat pa age yon our thog blat wris itten spin oonerisms thike lis.

    Bingle Jells bingle jells
    Ingle ball we thay
    Oh Fhat wun it is ro tide
    On a hone orse slopen ey.

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